My Mexican Mom

And the difference between donuts and older women

Her name was Zenaida which she despised, she insisted on Zeny. Once during my first months of learning Spanish, I commented to her, my future mother-in-law, that I liked doñas. Her wry smile clued me in that a mistake had been made so I explained, “those round breads with a hole in the middle.” “Oh, you mean donas,” she replied. Turns out doñas means older women!

Zeny passed away three days ago at the age of 88. I am writing this in her living room in Mazatlan, three blocks from the beach, where she spent the last 46 years of her life. Mireya’s first stabs at art decorate the walls. To my right is the small kitchen where, as a 24 year-old in Mexico to court her daughter, she fed me the most wonderful food I had ever eaten. After marrying into the family, during holidays we would all congregate in that same kitchen. In later years, I would sit eating breakfast and observe Doña Zeny as she slowly went about her daily chores, never hurrying but always busy.

I chuckle as I imagine myself b…